5 years.....

Katie is turning 5 on monday. This has been blowing my mind. How can I have a 5 year old? How did it go by so fast? Also, how has she not always been like she is today? I watch videos of when she was little, and I think how was she that little? How did my life mean anything without my little buddy by my side? It is amazing how time plays tricks with your mind. I can't remember how it felt not to worry about my kids, or how it felt to only think about myself. Well, I am still pretty good about that. I have enjoyed living in the bubble of my life. The bubble that is my home, and my kids. I have loved being able to shut life outside, and play inside. That it is enough right now, just for it to be "us". They don't need their friends, or activities outside of what we do together. But now that Katie is turning 5, she is going into school this fall. She will be subject to life. I am going to have to take her to school. Don't get me wrong, she is soooo ready to go. She can't wait to be "a big girl" and go to kindergarten. She wishes she was there now. I don't. I am stuck between loving watching her grow up, and seeing how much she is her own person, and wanting her to stay just like this forever.
Just a few of my melancholy thoughts. I know that one of the reasons I am so reluctant for her to grow up, is that my youngest is now three. I am not done having little ones. We are in the process of adopting, but it is hard not to be in control. Ok..... I swear I am not this depressed about my life. I am extremely happy, and blessed in so many ways. Good grief!!! I think I will stop while I am ahead, and say that I love Katie, and can't wait to see the woman she will become.